


It's all okay.

by plansfortwo



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9803786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plansfortwo/pseuds/plansfortwo
Summary: "Connor knows he seems foolish, but it's just Oliver.It's okay, it's okay, it's all okay, he repeats himself.The thing is that, Connor still wonders when Oliver will understand that he is not good enough. Oliver will walk out of his life, he knows it."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi people !  
> So, this is my first english fic. I have been posting for quite sometime now, but always in French. I wanted to test my english so... Here it goes.  
> Have some Coliver !

The thing is that he just doesn't get it. 

He has tried, really. He listened attentively as Oliver ranted for almost half an hour ; his mouth was moving, but... It just didn't make sense, okay ?

There is a kind of challenge on Internet right now. A competition, but only to very smart people with very good computer skills. So Connor does not feel concerned. Not that he's stupid, because he's not, but computers are not his things.

He prefers real things. Alive people. Much more exciting, but heh, who is he to talk about kinks and shit.

So. Oliver has been spending too much time working on that problem, even Connor is thinking that it has reached a new level of insanity never seen before. 

Shit definitely hits the fan when Oliver stops sleeping with him. "I'm so sorry, but I really want to do this". "I hope you understand, I mean...". He doesn't understand, but he knows how the other's brain works. After all, he has the patience to keep up with Connor's bullshit, so nothing surprising in almost getting sick for a bet on a forum.

The thing is that, Connor hates that. But he doesn't say a word about it. He hates the fact that his brain is making him think something else. Maybe there are other great things on the Internet. Other great people, with fewer problems, without any Annalise Keating or fake drug problems.

And okay, Connor is hot. He's damn hot. He knows it. He knows how to play and use his body, and others'. So, he's like a living wet dream, right ?

Right...? 

He's sitting on the couch, sipping his coffee. Because Connor, not only hot, is also a nice and a good boyfriend (or whatever thing they have going on). He made coffee for Oliver, because the stupid shit has been up all night. 

"How are you today, Oliver ?" asks Connor. Because he's considerate. Not because he just wants to throw the bloody machine on the wall.

The other man looks up and seems to hesitate between cringing and laughing. "What is this question ?". 

"I don't know. Nothing". Right. Nothing. 

There is a dirty spot on the table, it's really annoying. 

"Classes are fine ? I know you work a lot at Annalise's...". And Connor just lost it. At that exact moment. He knows he should calm down and not take it out on the poor guy but he just can't help it. 

"I'm sorry, you still care about me ? I thought you were too busy". The last word almost sound like an insult. It seems wrong in his mouth, it feels worse. Oliver is looking at him like he doesn't know what to say, like a parent would be looking at a child. He hates it. It makes him want to scream at the top of his lungs and apologize for everything he is not.

"What do you mean ?". 

And this damn spot is still there. He takes a sponge and takes it off.

"Well, you're always on your computer. You having fun ? Because I'm not". 

"Are we talking about sex or... ?". Connor can see that Oliver wants to get up and comes near him, but he doesn't. 

He doesn't. Something breaks in Connor's void that is his heart - if he had one. 

"Look, if you're just so bored, you can just...". Connor doesn't end his sentence, he doesn't need to. He feels fucking stupid, standing in a kitchen in an apartment that doesn't belong to him. He feels trapped, and played. He knew this was coming. 

Because he's damn hot, but really, what more is he ? He fucks people up, that's what he has always done and will always do. 

Sometimes, he still wakes up with the scent of Sam Keating in his nose. 

More often than not, he feels like he doesn't deserve the man in front of him. 

"What are you talking about ?". This time, Oliver gets up and before Connor knows it, he's there. The other man is slightly taller than him, he likes that. Even if he will deny it to the end of times. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was spending so much time on the computer". 

Connor just shrugs, because he doesn't know what to add. 

"Do you really want to leave ?". He shakes violently his head. 

He knows he seems scared, but it's Oliver, so it's okay he thinks.

"No, I just thought you were bored with me and my mess". Oliver does a little 'oh' and tries to keep a little smile hidden. 

"So that's what it's all about". Again, Connor shrugged. He can feel a hand on his arm and he's already tending and melting into the touch. "I'm sorry. It will not happen again, but you know, I tend to work too much sometimes. Like someone else do". The smile finally goes out, but this time, Connor smiles too. 

Connor knows he seems foolish, but it's just Oliver.

It's okay, it's okay, it's all okay, he repeats himself.

That night, they sleep almost so close to each other they can barely breathe, but it feels good.

The thing is that, Connor still wonders when Oliver will understand that he is not good enough. Oliver will walk out of his life, he knows it, he can feel it deeply in his bone. 

But it feels so nice for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to give you guys another chapter- and the last one.  
> I have been stuck on it for a month, I have been coming back to this story for quite some time, but I don't know what to say more. 
> 
> I'm so happy you liked this story, I wasn't expecting so much love. (And thanks for the nice words on my Malec one, too !).

The thing is that Connor can be tiring. 

The man never stops, Oliver just want to tell him to _calm the hell down_ at times. He doesn't really do it, because he can already see his blood on the wall. Lovely sight.

He used to ask if the other wants to watch some movies, and have takeout. At first, there was a blank in the conversation, now Connor just download himself the movie and barely asks before calling that place they both like. 

Not that they are in a relationship or anything, it's just Oliver is so geeky, his choices in films are so bad. 

Right.

Sometimes, he knows Connor lies. Or at least, he hides something. He doesn't know exactly what, but he can sense it. He doesn't think it's about another man, but well, he can't let himself think that, can he ?

What is he gonna do about it anyway ? Throw a fit and smash his glasses on the floor ? Threaten to destroy his online reputation ?

Connor is all charm and bullshit. He smirks, and twists the truth so much he wonders how the man hasn't lost himself before. Maybe he already did. 

The man is such a fucking asshole, really. It makes him mad.

But at times, he can see a face he knows he is the only one seeing. And that's enough to make him smile for the entire day, and well, that's the most important part. 

He tried to walk away before, but he can't really do it. He almost succeeded, but _Connor needs him_. It's breaking his heart. Oliver has no idea how to help but he tries his best. Most of the times, it's working. Not every day, but he will takes what he can gets. Some days are still filled with some hidden emotions in the other's eyes, like he hates himself so much and he doesn't understand why he's still there. 

Those times are the worst, because Connor can't get in his thick head that he's right the way he is. He's not perfect, but well, neither is Oliver and it's just fine. He loathes the way the law student makes his personal goal to prove he is worthless. He can't stand these times, but he stays. He always does.

Some of his friends are saying that the man is toxic, that "you should be careful, he will destroy you". And he kinda agrees, there is something unhealthy in handing your happiness to someone.

Connor knows how to make him moan and beg for more, but he also knows how to make him hiss in frustration. How to make him mad, and scream, and lose his temper like he never did.

But he can't leave. And he's okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the grammar mistakes ! Do not hesitate to tell me if something sounds wrong to you :)
> 
> Thanks for reading ! And don't hesitate to leave me a little comment, it would mean so much :3


End file.
